Postcard Punk "Pregnant"

Tree to Abort Mars Mission?

Associated Press
August 4, Burma--

The Postcard Punk has struck again. And this time she's pointing fingers. In the latest postcard she writes, "I might be pregnant...I think one of you might be the father."
When asked about the possibility of mating with the Porno Punk, Soapy Argyle said, "Hey, I told you that story about the land mine three times already. If you think I'm getting anyone pregnant, think again."
As reported in the last scandal update, Mr. Tree is on his way to Mars. NASA was able to contact him in his space ship. "Where I come from people get married before they make babies. And last I knew, I ain't married. I gotta go now, the red planet is coming into my viewer."
Shawn 4-On's reply to the accusation was enthusiastic, "Hell, if those other two jack-asses didn't do it, I gotta be the sh*t e*&in' father! HOT DAMN! I finally got lucky! Who's the man? Me, that's who!"
Unfortunately for 4-On, even if Tree and Argyle are innocent, there is no guarantee he's the father of the child, for there is ANOTHER WINGNUT. Yes, scientists recently discovered a fourth member of the group at their most recent performance. Will he play at their next show? (Which, incidentally, is at the BLUEBIRD, SAT AUGUST 12 opening for SLIM CESSNA's AUTO CLUB.)
What is his name? Has he seen the Postcard Punk naked? Only time will tell.

Send all information, clues, and financial contributions to:

Mr. Tree and the Wingnuts
3430 Lawrence, Denver, CO 80205
or email at mrtree_and_the_wingnuts@yahoo.com