ANOTHER POSTCARD!!Mr Tree and the Wingnuts' Won't Give in to Terrorist Demands Associated Press A seductive teenage woman wearing white heels and a strapless frumpfy dress looks wistfully into the distance as she sits on a toilet... This is the photo that appears on the latest entry in this bizarre case. It shows absolutely no nudity. Nevertheless, the young subject of the photograph has kept authorities busy in private Crime Solving Rooms for days. The message scrawled on the card reads, "What's up? Where were you guys? ?--EP"
Artist's rendition of chicken The deadline came and went and 4-On didn't leave the beans out. "We don't give in to terrorist demands," said Mr Tree, "And anyway, we only have about twelve cans of beans left." When asked if he was worried about being "pruned," Mr Tree responded, "Not really. I could use a haircut." Chief Anderson, head of the investigation, agrees, "Geeze. That rug on his head is more of a menace than the postcard punk."
Mr. Tree and the Wingnuts are issuing a plea to their fans for any and all information which could lead to the identification and eventual arrest of the "SECRET ADMIRER." All tips should be sent to Mr. Tree and the Wingnuts at: 3430 Lawrence, Denver, CO 80205 |
It likely refers to
EP's earlier demand that Shawn 4-On, Wingnut, leave three
hundred cans of unmarked beans on his front step at
midnight or "the tree gets pruned."
Scientific analysis
of the latest postcard has left authorities confounded.
Says Anderson, "There seems to be an egg residue on
the cards which leads us to believe the the perpetrator
is NEITHER a deranged female fan NOR the reanimated
corpse of Elvis Presley." He then inhaled
dramatically and said, "The Mailbox Menace is almost
certainly a CHICKEN."