*Editorial*MY JOB HAS NEVER BEEN THIS FUN! by Ted Jackson, US Postman I don't care what they say, I have the
best job in the world. Don't get me
wrong, Every other day someone sends a postcard to the boys in that band. These aren't just any postcards!! We're talking about young women on toilets, girls with bare asses, golf balls and handcuffs, wierdly-shaped rashes, half-naked prostitutes tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things! Why just last week I even got to
deliver a card that came all the way from INDIA! That's
right, INDIA!! Even though she wasn't naked, that Shiva
is one fine goddess. I almost couldn't bear to drop that
one in the mailbox. Sometimes I stand in the front yard of the Circle A Ranch caressing one postcard or another. I've been tempted more than once to bring one home with me. But there was one postcard that really brought me back to earth: It had a picture of Virgin Mary on the front. The message written on the back said, "Remember the Virgin when you look at the naked women." I remember. I really do. And then the very next day they got a postcard that said "Shalom," in Hebrew. On the flip side was a woman drawing pictures with crayons. These postcards are trying to show me how to mingle the mysteries of religions with the mysteries of sex. Just keep sendin 'em to Mr. Tree and the Wingnuts at: 3430 Lawrence, Denver, CO 80205 |
being
a mailman hasn't always been peaches and cream. Why just
a few months ago I was carrying a sawed-off shotgun under
the seat of my delivery truck and I wanted to use it. But
now the gun is back at home where it belongs and I'm all
smiles. You see, I deliver mail to the Circle A Ranch,
headquarters of Mr. Tree and the Wingnuts.