HOW DARE YOU?

Mr Tree Outraged at Decision to Make Porno Cards Public

Associated Press
April 27 DENVER-

The pornographic postcards have finally been made available to the public and Mr. Tree isn't happy. "Isn't it enough that I've suffered at the hands of this menace of mailbox mayhem? Now you force the entire world to wallow in this fetid catbox of sin!"

In spite of Mr. Tree's protestations, Police Cheif Simmons stands behind his decision to expose the public to the pornographic postcards. "Hey, before we posted these things nobody even believed they were real. This isn't a joke. And maybe by letting the world view these postcards we can get a clue. Because, frankly, we don't have the faintest idea of who the hell this perpetrator of pornographic filth is."

It is hoped that someone will recognize one of the women on the postcards and lead investigators to her or as least provide her telephone number. "We really like that blonde gal playing golf," says Simmons, "If we could interview her for a few hours I bet we could learn a thing or two."

Shawn 4-On adds, "F***, m*n, t*at rea*ly, exc*** me."

In the meantime, the Wingnuts (and Mr. Tree) sit and wait.

Send all information, clues, and financial contributions to:

Mr. Tree and the Wingnuts
3430 Lawrence, Denver, CO 80205
or email at mrtree_and_the_wingnuts@yahoo.com